Information overload. So much of a good thing it boggles my spirit. I'm sitting in the library, pensively grateful. Never put those two words side by side before... pensively grateful, and yet, that is what I feel. Processing multilayered epiphanies and lessons. New experiences call for even more descriptive verbiage. Bitching was easy, plenty of practice, it flowed easily. I found myself actually wordless for a nanosecond. How do I describe this sublimity?
Breakthrough, breakdown, breakthrough... Pretty much sums up my weekend. I know that this is THE journey... the real deal no bullshit, well because first and foremost, if I try to jump ahead, I lovingly get dumped back where I tried to take shortcuts. In the past, that woulda seriously pissed me off and I might have spent time wah wah wahing. Now, I get it, ohhhh I tried to skip that step, jump over that icky feeling, not FEEL that crap. Each step of the process, no matter how uncomfie, or seemingly useless from our perfectly imperfect, non omniscient perspective IS necessary. Go figure.
So easy to slide back into old behaviors to numb. Self love and vigilance are oh so necessary. NOW I get why. No self love, no resilience for the ebb and flow.
I AM hugely grateful to be a woman. I ABHORRED being female for so many years. I believed the Y chromosomes had it made. Shit, I wanted a wife who would 'take care' of me and the kids. Pffft... I seriously misunderstood gender roles. I slowly began reprogramming and retraining myself to be open to new ideas. Not all men hit women ... okay. Not all men leave their children...nods head. Women may be very abusive as well. Men can be victimized too. Hmmmmm. Verbal abuse is just as or more damaging than physical. Damn this is getting serious...
Maybe I can be just who I am, passionate, shiny, playful, sensual, primal, STRONG, intelligent AND I will not 'have' to dumb down or remove my luster to feel that I fit in. Holy shit, maybe I do not want to fit just anywhere. Maybe, everything else besides shining brightly and paying it forward is NOT my business. Dayum, heady stuff.

Then after my lil breakthrough and subsequent breakdown .....I watched Femme (themovie.com) and my mouth fell open. I knew this was going to be powerful and it was.
Much of the information was not new to me after studying the origins of matriarchy and the onset of a patriarchal society. The fact that not only do massive amounts of women know about the lack of balance in our world, but they have moved their arses and are doing something about it shook me to my core.
"The opposite of matriarchy is not patriarchy but fraternity." My legs literally trembled at the power and truth resonating from this prolific and profound revelation!

My wheels began to spin...we have all played with puzzles in our life. What happens when you try to force to pieces that are not a match? That shit gets weak, frayed, worn and it eventually breaks. It just does not fit and there is no forcing it. Voila!
Men and women together are the solution. (XX + Y)= Gaia HEALED. There are masculine and feminine energies in both sexes and we are free to just be, without censure or recriminations, if we retrain ourselves to JUST BE. The joy of authentic living is ours for the taking. It's a choice. Yup...it's some uncharted territory, but all the views on this road are splendiferous.

So now what?
A call to ACTION...
I love being a GODDESS revealed!


























