Whew! I am in Puerto
Rico for the first time in 28 years.
There were many reasons I didn’t come back ‘home’ for so long. As I travel in the car as a back seat
passenger for the first time in years, watching the landscape, clouds, people,
signs etc. I am transported back in time to the young woman I was at 17, my last
trip to la isla de mi encanto. It
stands to reason that this would be the coup de grace of my journey propelling me forward to my highest
and greatest self.
Day 1: Arrived in
Puerto Rico, conquered my fear of flying, found the seats to be quite roomy,
<thank self and source for all the working out LOL>, and met up with
parents who were running late, giving me time to just ‘be’ for a few
minutes. Needed that time to acclimate
and just breathe in the experience. I
realize that although I have made it a part of my life to take time to smell
the roses, in observational mode, not everyone else has, which is right for
their journeys, and my choices for mine.
Lots of hugging and kissing when I finally saw my parents, we went to
eat at an amazing restaurant where I had fish and boiled bananas… bacalao y
bianda …. Num nums!! Then we drove around looking around, sightseeing, my dad
proudly showing me his home now and mom asking me constantly if I am alright
<smiles>. It was very cute and
long.
Day 2: Went driving
with my parental units, sightseeing, with my dad narrating <lol> … we got
caught in a monsoon and I found out that shrimp soup in PR has RICE in it..
urgh.. lmao we spent the day out and
ended up home late. After posting a few
pics.. I DID pass out after listening to the AMAZING last call of my 12 week
telecourse.
Day 3: THE DAY I FELT the clay fall off of this golden
Buddha <me> we went to the BEACH and that is when my heart expanded and I
felt all the walls surrounding me strip away.
I left my parents taking their time at the car and ran to the water
inhaling the Caribbean with all of my being.
Wow. I was 17 again and it felt
euphoric. I literally felt such joy
shining in every cell of my being. I
jogged on the beach <yes me.. lol> with the velvety sand caressing my
feet. I found my first sand dollar and
held it tenderly.. I walked on the beach with my mom… absorbing all of the
beauty and sweet scent of the isle. I
felt so free on the beach, a humbling and inspiring surge of life flow through
my veins. I was HOME. I remembered who I was underneath ‘the
story’. Beneath all of ‘scripts’ I had
incorporated from my environment. I
remember ME, the uniquely defining id of my innate being. On the way home after dinner, I watched the
full moon over the mountains. Oh my
God/dess, what majestic, magnificent brilliance. I laid my head against the back of the car
and just ‘felt’ so connected to LOVE.
Day 4: “TimeWarp”
Time to see my grandmother… got up early worked out with my mom <every
morning except for Sunday> got ready and off we went. Stopped first to take scenic pictures, and
then went to my cousins’ house, whom I hadn’t seen in 28 years… I hugged her
and stared at her. Wow, time passed here
too. I met her grandchild… WOW, we are
all grandparents. After seeing her, we
went to my aunt’s house… she was too frail and old to travel. Saw my other cousin, memories galore. We were at the house I used to live at every
summer with my grandmother… wow, was I really an incredibly imaginative young
girl who played with no abandon? Was
that fierce creatura’ me? Yes, she was
and still is. Off to see my grandmother…
to the nursing home we went. I took
several deep breathes before I went into the community room. There she was sitting in her rocking chair,
two strokes have left her frailer, tiny and with partial memory loss, combined
with the dementia, she looked at me and asked who I was. I gently told her, she said she didn’t believe
it, but after repeatedly and gently telling her stories of ‘us’ … looking
directly into her eyes constantly, I saw the love, I did. I know on a soul level she knew who I
was. She held my hand… I kissed her hand
repeatedly.
She told me how much she
loves me. Tears trickled down my face,
as I watched the woman who loved me unconditionally struggle to talk. I kept repeating over and over again in my
mind, grateful, love, grateful, love, thank you, thank you. We spent the allowed allotted time with her
and rolled her into dinner. I left feeling again one with source and love! We drove around and had a beautiful seafood
dinner literally over the Caribbean.
Wow. I came home watching la
Luna the entire trip, knowing that I have come to a place of acceptance,
gratitude and learning.
My arms are thrown wide open embracing this experience with
my entire being. I am hugely grateful
and receptive to whatever is coming. I
am LOVE, LIGHT, SOURCE, HEALTHY, GRATEFUL and happy!
Day 5: Today: Rest
Day 6:Tomorrow: Beach
YES I am too blessed to be stressed! <3
