Choosing Light

I am bent

Crouched down in the muck

Black ooze slides off my skin

And still I won't be stuck

recognize this place

my soul's embers 

keep the darkness at bay

steps I can retrace

wrapped in my souls embrace

Fears lurks at every bend

As I fight to raise my head

I may curl into a ball

Safe from the blows and the woes

I still will not, still will not fall

Exploring the terrain

Examining the shame

Choosing to forgive

release all of the pain

Sounds easy I know

to ego such primal blows

A rejection of protection

And still....

To the light I choose to go.

Something Interesting

When did I expect joy exclusively

Never to experience life's tempestuous whimsy

When did I learn to own the pain

Not just gleaning the lesson, but owning the shame

Our feelings are gifts, our GPS to guide us

Not a rift in time to cower and bind us

When did I expect it to ever be breezy

Birthing my highest me

Contractions are not easy

It's the pulling, the pushing

The writhing in pain

That gives way to love

Universal in name

The twists and the turns

Will at times leave us screaming

But in that precious moment

We truly start seeing

If we can push past the agony

Still breathing, tears streaming

Not dead, still here, tiny flame flickering

We find we are starting to believe in....

Something.

3/1/13 S. Shaharazade

We Can Start Again!

If I am not my emotions

I am not then even my fears

Those are just illusions of rusty padlocks

Trapping my soul deep within here. 

Staring at the pinnacle

Never realized the height

Of all those added steps

The human me, gasped in fright

That seems insurmountable

So impossible to reach

What more does my soul need to learn

What more do I teach

It’s cyclical this journey

Wrought with both pain and joy

Embracing all nuances of our soul

Is the only way not to stay fallen

Loving all that is

Both the darkness and the light

Allows us to be spectators of emotions

And not enslaved to the night

We are created

A beautiful balance

Twas not an accident

Certainly not happenstance

A recipe of the greatest love

Free to make our choices

Free to choose the pain

When we realize it’s all our doing

We can START AGAIN!  

Shanti Shaharazade 2013