“Once upon a time, there was a woman who had sight but could
not see. She had ears but could not
hear, had a mouth but had no voice. She
gave up her rights, magic, hopes and choices, in order to be accepted, noticed,
heard…seen and loved. She would gaze out into space longingly,
praying to be rescued. She thought the
world was against her, and that she was part of a cosmic joke, the
entertainment of a cruel deity. Now and
then there were bursts of light in the darkness of the abyss… she would follow
the light hungrily, clutching at it, grasping so tightly she always snuffed out
the flame.
The tunnels of the abyss were long, twisting, darkly
shadowed, slimy, dank, and scary. In
order to not stay perpetually terrified, to mask those sensations she
distracted herself with any and everything she could. Innately she knew, without knowing how, that
there was light to be had, but had no clue as to its source. She knew that she longed for love,
acceptance, approval, and knew not how to get it.”
Three birthday’s ago <this year will be four> one of
my best friends, Eddie, gave me silver bear earrings, and told me that it was
very special FOR ME, and that it had a magical meaning. I was so grateful cuz well Eddie was <he
passed last year while I was in Puerto Rico> such a magical light, a pure
being, that when he did anything, all you could feel was HIS love, didn’t
matter what it was. Had he handed me a pile of dirt and told me that it was
special for me, I’d kept it <true story>.
Well he gave me these earrings, and because they were from him and his
love, they were special. I didn’t think
they were the most gorgeous things I’d ever seen <true story> but
nevertheless I kept them cuz of what they meant. I looked online and researched with all my
might but nufin. Sokay. I kept them anyway OF COURSE.
One year later on my birthday, with a spiritual siSTAR, far
away from Eddie, I was gifted <I am one lucky dakini> with being able to record <albeit it’s a dark moving shadow on
video> a BABY brown bear in the middle of the national forest from the
passenger seat of a car, after sighting it.. while we were moving around the
curving roads. This beautiful lil guy/or
gyal was moving quickly down a tree.. wow.
Not too much later I was told by a Maggie Valley native that… ‘things
like that mean something, that doesn’t happen much round here’
Third year on my birthday…. I decided to gift myself with an essence portrait, and as Lisa began painting what 2000 miles or more away, just <pfft JUST> our voices and spirits connecting… I heard an exclamation of surprise in her voice as she said ummm copper? I really was expecting a regular essence painting. (Check out her link, you’ll see what I mean)…. Fairie, pixie or angel colors.. yanno the good good. <grins> nope.. not me.. COPPER, turquoise and.. umm.. ready??? MY BEAR? Three years on three birthdays. YUP. Soooooooooooooooooooooooooo I got to studying… of course, cuz that’s who I am.
Lo and behold, at that moment… the triquerta of bears came rushing into my
memory and I started hunting for my earrings, the ones that Eddie gave me, looking frantically for the video of the baby
bear, tripping over myself in my eagerness to understand. I found ONE earring. I was so ticked off at myself, but then I
understood. (laughs softly) I wouldn’t have worn them every day as
earrings… it’s true. I’d lost them… or
left in studs.. I’m kindof practical with my ears. Light sleeper that I am, I always feel the
pressure of earrings. If I don’t leave
them in all the time, I’d prolly lose them.
I had the one earring made THAT day into a charm and put it on my
bracelet… it hasn’t left my wrist since my birthday. My essence painting hangs on the wall to the
right of my bed.
Day before yesterday I saw that Lisa did another beautiful
essence painting… and I looked at it and thought … what the fuck???? I immediately
messaged her…. Ummm even in our soulpod,
I stand apart eh??? She typed back one
word… ‘yup’… SMH.
Today: (drumroll
please) I was mulling… and a very special siSTAR, hit me up and said did I
still want to vent… I said.. (call me at 86753099999)… hell to the ya, and she
did.. and she listened..and and… AND… she recommended that I watch a
video..which I did on the ARC.. MOUTH HANGING OPEN, shaking my head. THANK GOD/DESS I sweat buckets on that
machine, cuz NO-one could see I was crying IN WONDER. Ummm really… I’m an alchemist??? Really?? Truly….
Fucking copper???? IT ALL MADE SENSE.. PINS AND TUMBLERS ALL SLID INTO PLACE.
HOLY FUCK I GOT IT.. BY GEORGE I THINK SHE’S GOT IT…..
She has eyes but sees
with her soul
she uses her voice to
sooth not cajole
her hearing now tuned
to inside
she HAS BREAKIN FREE
and will NO LONGER HIDE!!!!
Of course there is more to the story… but really did you
want me to write a book??????
Did I mention I fucking LOVE life???
Did I mention I fucking LOVE life???
Thank you Eddie, Lisa, Margie, Christine..and every single person who is reading this, and who is impacting my life by simply BEing...
shhhhh... Life is Speaking, butcha gotta listen!!!
