One year ago, my Aunt (best friend and sister) died. I miss her and am so grateful for the
catalyst that her passing onto her reunion with source brought me. I thank her almost every day.
This blog is dedicated to her. My Darsh, who is now shining so brightly, her
iridescent wings allowing her to soar to such great heights that she could
never imagine being encumbered as she was by the weight of her human
vehicle. I know she is here with me; I can
feel her and am now so much more aware.
Life Out Loud
Owning all aspects of myself has set me free in ways I could
not previously conceive of whilst lost in my darkness. The light is now so bright in me, I can’t
help but rain love down, paying forward the joy and enthusiasm with which I
greet life. I am so in love with
ME. I love every single thing about
me. I am 230 pounds <as opposed to
350> <gained two pounds in Puerto Rico, lol..thank SOURCE for 7 miles a
day!!! Whew!> I am discovering
muscles, I am light café au lait color <lotsa milk> and yes, I have
accepted and love even the fact that I do indeed currently have loose skin
mostly on my belly, my inner thighs and my <lol> bat wings. Pfft I am so very grateful to my body for
having not only endured but preserved on this journey, and giving me three
gorgeous children. Do I feel badly about
myself for any of this? FUCK no!!!! I love every perfectly imperfect part of
myself. Oh AND I have had silver in my
hair since I was 17, BOOYAH!!!! And I may decide to let it all go silver…
<shrugs> WHATEVER suits me!!! Health is now my LIFESTYLE and I am eager to
see what the best me is.
I curse like a sailor at times, I laugh LOUD. I have NO SHAME IN MY GAME. I love with my entire soul, no reservations
and I cry easily <except for this trip..way too many emotions to process
YET>. I am a highly sensitive person
and have been empathic all of my life. I
choose to be the change I want in this world, and would have sincerely joined
the peace corp if I had my bachelor’s or master’s degree. I want to be of service and am walking my
talk.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD, had very few symptoms of it
left except hyper-vigilance at night, and a few small leftover triggers I still
have to work through. I acknowledge and
accept ALL of me…
Choosing to SEE and
RECEIVING miracles
Yesterday my parents and I went to Culebra. The ferry ride was amazing. It is an hour ride each way. I sat on the mid-level under the hot, beaming
sun, my soul ecstatically blossoming under the winds strong embrace. The boat rocked to and fro on the waves, I
could feel Gaia’s energy traveling through both my spiritual/physical body
cleansing/restoring my soul to joy and pure light.
On the island I quickly walked into the water eager to taste
paradise, it had been so long since I've felt that free and wild. Wearing a black swimsuit and a tangerine
sarong, I could feel the wild and primal goddess rising inside of me, eager to
run, roam, to nuzzle my soul mate. I
stood there embracing the primordial sensations flowing in my blood and
intoxicating my senses. My mom was
infected by my joy and actually frolicked in the water with me. After our day in paradise and drinking
passion fruit and mango frappes we boarded the bus in the midst of a tropical
afternoon fierce, tempestuous storm.
My spirit was (and is) glowing and humming. I feel no desire to control and change
anyone. I am happily observing the world
and making educated decisions for myself.
Even though it was slightly drizzling and threatening another turbulent tropical
storm, I sat on the middle deck again.
The ride back was magical.
I closed my eyes, turning my face toward heaven, repeated thank you,
thank you, thank you. I am the clouds, I
am the sun, I am the ocean, I am the mountains, I am God/Goddess, thank you,
thank you, thank you, thank you, as I opened my eyes I saw a young policeman
smiling at me. I knew my light was
beaming.
I looked into the sky in gratitude and saw a
heart <a FREAKING HEART> left by the shape of the clouds. I took a picture as did my Mom and I saw two
more heart, cloud formations as I drove towards Aibonito. 45 years on this planet and I have NEVER ever
seen that before, even being an avid cloud watcher as a young child and
woman! It is said if you look for love you'll see it, if you look for joy you will find it, if you look for crap you
will find that too. I saw and felt the
light, beauty and love. I was truly in
alignment with Source. I am lucky and
grateful to have so many blessings in my life.
So many people to love and be loved by, I have fully come to the place
where I know I am worthy of this magnificent life.
I AM… LOVE
I AM… LIGHT
I AM… JOY
I AM… HEALHTY
I AM… STRONG
I AM… SUCCULENCE
Thank you Aunt Darsh… my road dog for being the catalyst
that woke me up and saved my life, you are here in my heart now and
forever.
I love me, I love you!
Choosing to shine FOREVER!
