Cutting OURSELVES and other's some SLACK!

Soo … I’ve been thinking, something bout walking (meditative movement) does it for me.  I mean really does it.  I’ve not been sleeping well AT ALL, and there’s a part of me that just does not want to get out of bed in the morning and just wants to chase Morpheus, but I head out anyway, knowing that there’s golden nuggets to be found 8-10 miles later. 

I’ve had a lot of conversations lately and although I’ve been wrestling with my own shit, my humanity, I still pay attention to the general tone of our soul pod and I’ve noticed some interesting things lately that cumulated into some serious epiphanies on the trail today.  

I’m gonna start and end with this sentence.  Can we just cut ourselves and other some slack????  WTF??? We are all having a HUMAN experience.  As far as I’ve seen and ascertained, this is NOT Mount Olympus and we are subject to the same qualms, fears, doubts, joys, and uncertainties that everyone else has.  Now granted ya may not know what your neighbor, family member, ex’s ex, bf, gf, aunt’s, parents.. teacher, student.. old lady down the block.. etc is going through because they may have to hide it for the sake of their own sanity.  It may look as though they have their shit neatly packed in a 12 x 12 box, all sorted nicely, edges tucked in, no seams showing, coiffed just right, but under that facade, we have NO idea the kind of shit storm is going on. 

Those really broken people acting like assholes… <yup me too> are HURTING, they have no idea how to get themselves out of the abyss.  We/I/you might think they do because something they said and/or did alluded to the fact that they have a clue, or we can judge other’s by what our PERSONAL best is….. but I truly believe we have no fucking idea.  Ever watch a wounded animal???  They lash out, they turn into giant crazed beasts that need a mofo tranq gun just so they can be cared for… remind you of anyone you know?

We are all on this mofo big BIG BLUE rock together and in my HUMBLE opinion, I think we all miss HOME, and by home, I mean back with Source in eternity, cuz it sure as shit looks like we’re all trying to recreate the experience of perfect belonging.. yea ummmmmm this is a HUMAN aka FLAWED (perfectly imperfect) experience. 

So when I arrived on May 22, in Dallas, and headed to the Katy trail for the first time, I looked up at the hill I had to climb and thought…FUCK.  How the hell is my ‘wounded knee’ (yea I took it there) gonna do this?? (if you’ve been following,  then you know about my fall down the stairs and subsequent slip and fall with the whole stretching of my ligaments shit)  so leaving behind the knee and foot brace in Mass, cuz well I just didn’t accept that as part of my reality, I gazed up that hill and thought hmmm here we go. I limped for the first, second and MAYBE third week, I mean seriously limped… my knee felt like it was gonna slip out of its groove, but I kept going.  As I walked that long ass, tree canopied trail much understanding of my own soul and journey became clear.  I got so much about my own limiting beliefs.  How much I JUDGE myself, how self-talk can cripple us or make us scale mountains <not at mountain status YET, but I’m twerking on it> just who was I trying to prove shit too??  Smh.  I came on this journey to be my best me, which includes PLOT TWISTS, yup you got that… you deserve PLOT TWISTS.  How the fuck are we supposed to know how we feel about shit if WE DO NOT TRY??? 

As I walked up and down the trail day after day, I would tilt my head to the side, inhaling.. ummm there’s “Red Door” .. Definitely some “Polo” going on,  oh wait there’s “Beautiful” and ummm yup “Light Blue” by Dolce and Gabbana… so I began wearing my Elie Saab (smiles) … I noticed some women wearing full track suits complete with JACKETS.. yo it is HOT out there… why the fuck are they all covered up, then it began to dawn on me, just because I am currently loving my 220ish pound self does not mean everyone is embracing themselves.. ahh I get it.. and maybe they are ‘sweating’ it all out. Who the hell knows????…   who cares?? They are human and deserve LOVE…      some people smile back, some people don’t, is it PERSONAL??????  Um nope, maybe they are in the groove, maybe they are thinking about their spouse or sick parent/child, again who the hell knows??  

And that’s my point... we do not know, there is NO WAY we can know for CERTAIN unless we climb all in another’s being, we have no idea what shitstorm they are walking through.  Just like you cannot know for sure what it feels like to be me, even with my sharing all my shit, it’s still not the experience of being me. 

So for me… FOR ME… I intend to look at everyone with the eyes of love, I cannot fucking ascertain how much pain a person is in.  Who knows why some people are trying their hardest to destroy other’s lives??? Smh.  I am here to DO MY BEST, what SHANTI perceives as HER BEST (3^rd person feels so weird, lol)   but that is the truth of the matter, I didn’t come here to make everyone happy, I came here to be joy exemplified, that’s my job, to shine MY light as brightly as possible, (makes serious concentrating MUPPET FACE) that’s it.  

So DO you, beYOUtiful, don’t worry about the naysayers, the doubters, troublemakers, gossipers, insecure, the backstabbers… IMHO, they are in lots of pain, and more than anything paying attention to that behavior will only add darkness to a world that needs more light.   

So thank YOU for being YOU, thank YOU for choosing to get up today and be the BEST you can be (your best only to be DEFINED by YOU), WE fucking rock … for an existence that did NOT come with a manual I think we’re doing p r e t t y damn well!!!! 

So your choice??? Part of the darkness or part of the light?? Fear?  Or LOVE. 

I choose love EVERY TIME (sometimes after some thought, it most definitely is not always an instantaneous, spontaneous response)  <3

Let’s cut ourselves some slack … that then carries over into cutting everyone around us some slack… let’s raise the collective consciousness!!!